I was reading a blog posting this morning about waiting on God, so that God can be glorified in the situation, and it struck right to the core of me. I had been thinking through what to write about the specific situation I’m finding myself in and as always, God knew just how to provide.
I have not been waiting well the last month or so. I was handling things pretty decent until all the responsibilities I was now responsible for caught up to me. There is only so much time in a day and unfortunately I didn’t have the ability to clone myself.
In the last few weeks I prayed daily that all the baby plants would just hang on.
That they would somehow stop growing until I could find the time to pot them up into bigger pots. I prayed that the pots and seeds I ordered a month ago would finally show up. I prayed the weather would stay warm so I could vent the garage fully and set the plants outside during the day. Basically, I prayed things would go perfectly. After all, I’m the lady who can grow things!
But, the kids didn’t go back to school, pots didn’t show up, the plants didn’t stop growing and there was still only so much time in the day. “This is why you work from home!”, I kept telling myself. You can be there for your kids and help support your family financially. However, it didn’t feel like I was doing any of it well anymore. My business was suffering and my heart was suffering. What good is staying open if you don’t have what you need to do it well?
I felt like I was being dramatic and I really dislike drama so I just kept pushing through. But the truth is, I wasn’t being dramatic. Things were not going well. We may look like we have it all together, kids have most of their school work in, meals are on the table morning, noon and night, everyone is still alive. But, what good is that if your heart is frustrated, everyone is frustrated with each other and your mama heart is in despair most of the day?
Before this last cold snap I hauled a few flats of tomatoes down to the greenhouse to see how they would fair.
The greenhouse isn’t heated and these plants are use to being nice and warm. I didn’t want to risk losing everyone’s orders so I tested just a few. They did fantastic! Nearly all the plants in the garage “greenhouse” and the actually greenhouse were doing wonderfully. The plan was now to haul the rest down there but the weather had different plans. Cold winds left me unable to move the rest, and now they were all looking a bit sad. Now, I know I have higher expectations than most in the quality of plant I sell, but these didn’t just fall a little short, in their current state, they fell way short of that standard.
My heart was breaking, still is a bit. However, this morning reading this blog, I realized something that broke my heart and lifted it at the same time. I was loosing my faith that if I do my part, to the best of my ability, God will do his part so that HE may be glorified, not me. Something I’ve told countless people when they start gardening, but forgot to remind myself of. Yes, I may know how to grow a beautifully abundant garden, but it is by his teaching in that garden that caused that to be. One can only do so much and he is ultimately responsible for the results from there.
The truth is, most of the plants are still alive and will grow into beautiful specimens that produce food for my family and yours. They may not look exactly how I want them to look when they walk out the door and that’s okay. Humility is a very good thing. So is perseverance and faith.
My word for the year has been stronger and I’ve been reminded over and over again that when I am weak, He is strong. So, today I am choosing to except and share my weaknesses.
As of today, I am sold out of plants. I do however, have an abundance of seed I can sell for things like:
All if those plants, I direct sow from seed into my own garden and they will grow just as well in your garden from seed.
I still can’t thank you all enough for your support in this new adventure, and an adventure it has proven to be!
God is still good. He still sits on the throne and we will all still grow lovely gardens. On the plus side, I also have written down countless ways to improve upon growing everything next year and will be strong than ever. And to my dear friends yesterday who let me just be sad with them and to my husband, poor guy, who let me sob all night and then asked me what I was going to do about it,
I am going through plants yet again, re-sorting orders and sending out the best for THE BEST customers. You guys are seriously awesome. Plants will be available for pickup Friday 2-6pm and Saturday 10am-3pm. I’ll see you then! If those times don’t work for you, feel free to contact me and we can set up a time that does. I will also have my seeds down there with me so if you are interested in purchasing seeds stop on by.
In the meantime, I would ask you the question that was asked of me this morning. How great is your faith in God’s ability to turn your failures into something that brings glory to his name? Have you been, like me, just pushing through and pushing down all the things that are dragging you down? Or are you confronting them head on with that attitude that God is greater than your current circumstances?